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No Holds Barred
Reviewed by Bruce Dettman


I used to believe professional wrestling was on the up and up. By age ten, however, I began to realize that the chances of a two hundred and fifty pound guy dropping on someone else's neck with minimal damage were highly unlikely. This didn't stop a bunch of my pals and me from once attending a local series of matches at a TV station in Oakland. All our favorites were on hand: Ray "The Crippler" Stevens, Pepper Gomez, "Flying" Red Bastein, the Sheik and Ray "Thunder" Stern. In person, the moves, throws and punches even looked more suspect than on TV, but we didn't care and screamed our lungs out. The card girl was a luscious and curvy local girl in a one-piece bathing suit and high heels. We liked her too. In those days, of course, wrestling was a regional business, not the over-inflated cable monolith it grew to be under slime ball Vince McMahon. Every area had a champion and key players. Like a lot of things in the past, life was easier and less complicated then, even for wrestlers. I remember once when I was in high school a bunch of us went out for a bite after a night basketball game. Halfway through our meal we noticed that Ray Stevens was sitting nearby at a table chowing down on some fried chicken and potato salad and taking gulps of beer from a mug approximately the size of Montana. For a joke we began to throw some "pencil neck" references in his direction (his favorite on-air description of both his opponents and the fans) until he finally looked up through weary eyes and told us to "knock it off." Ray was fat and past his prime by then but we decided to do what he said anyway. Still, on our way out he shook all of our hands and called us pencil necks for good measure.

In No Holds Barred the wrestling game is portrayed as crooked as well but from a different angle. Mortimer Murray's (the great Herb Vigran) stable of wrestlers is being tutored by an Indian swami named Ra (Tito Renaldo) who is teaching them lethal - and often crippling - moves to use on their opponents (the worst being something called "The Paralizer"). Ra has no idea that he is being exploited, only believing (rather naively, I must say) that Murray is protecting him from the federal police for some unstated violation and that his knowledge of the human body is never used for evil purposes by the unscrupulous promoter's stable of muscle-headed grapplers including "Bad Luck" Brannigan (Richard Reeves) and the "Crusher" (Henry Kulky, later a regular on The Life of Riley and Voyage To The Bottom of the Sea). Perry White, apparently a big wrestling fan, is incensed by this athletic skullduggery ("I'm going to put a stop to it if it's the last thing I do!") and hires college wrestler Wayne Winchester (Malcolm Mealy, a former real-life college football star also of The Deserted Village) to investigate and see what he can learn. Wayne takes Lois (Phyllis Coates) to watch a bout but when Brannigan wins with the "Paralizer" the impulsive Wayne jumps into the ring and challenges Brannigan to a match. While Lois and Perry think this a stupid and dangerous idea, Clark Kent backs Wayne with the opinion that he believes the young grappler can emerge the victor.

Lois is pretty upset about this ("Clark, I never want to see you again as long as I live.") not realizing that Clark/Superman already suspects Murray's mat goons of employing pressure points to beat and injure their opponents. Secretly visiting the gymnasium at night where Ram is held captive he has the Hindu show him the techniques he has taught Murray's boys, the knowledge of which he then imparts to Wayne who uses poor Jimmy to practice counter holds on. Lois is still steaming and in a conversation with White who tries to defend Kent says that no matter how right someone is one day they have to be wrong, it's only human which sets up the editor for the response "Sometimes I wonder if Kent is Human" which is delivered in a wonderfully reflective way. Naturally when the night of the big match comes Wayne triumphs which cause Murray and the goons to return to the gym and torture Ram, who they believe has betrayed them, until the Man of Steels clears the deck with all the wrestlers. Exciting stuff.

Superman is still pretty much of a new entity in this one. Ram, admittedly not the brightest bulb on the tree, thinks he is an actual genie and when the Daily Planet crew find out he's saved the day White bellows "Superman again!" Clark, by the way, walks around his apartment in a robe over his street clothes. Must be pretty warm when you think he also has his Superman suit underneath both.

It's a fun episode with a strong cast which also includes the always enjoyable Dick Elliot as honest promoter Sam Bleaker. Oddly, after Wayne wins the championship Jimmy, in the capacity as Winchester's trainer, offers to talk terms with Bleaker who promises both of them millions. Apparently no deal could be arranged because we never hear of Jimmy's wrestling affiliation again. Of course, we never hear of Wayne again either and apparently Lois eventually forgives Clark, until next week's episode anyway.

December 2005

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